At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
