So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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