office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
