his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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