McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
