So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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