I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
