i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize