You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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