yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
