when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
