i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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