think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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