So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
