you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Someone stole a lamp last night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
