the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you would pick up someone in the library
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
