I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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