I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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