he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
