how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We are two peas in an std pod
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
