Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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