You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize
