just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
