So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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