There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
