At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
