what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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