Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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