I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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