you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
