He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
