Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it because I queefed?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
