Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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