dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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