You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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