my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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