Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
