I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
