yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
