I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
