I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
