Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
