the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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