my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
