She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
