i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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