Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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