She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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