I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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