You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
